Well, it has been a while since I last updated. I figure no one really reads livejournal anymore lol. I usually just update my myspace blog, and surprisingly people actually read that.
I've been doing some thinking, and I have decided that I am: lame, indecisive and impossible.
I don't know why I'm not in a relationship, or why I seem to not let myself get into relationships. I think I have a couple guys that like me and would probably go out with me, but for some reason I just sit back and do nothing lol. Well, with one of the guys I don't want to just be like "I like you!" (since I'm not sure I even do) and start something up with him, because I have this little problem of thinking I like people, and shortly after I realize I don't like them. Or maybe I did like them, but I get scared. Or maybe I didn't like them to begin with, but I just like the attention. Or maybe I did, in fact, like them and then stopped liking them. No, that makes no sense.
Ugh. Then there's the whole dating issue. I don't know why I don't just date people. It's like this. I think about a guy that likes me or wants to go on a date or something, and I think "I can't picture myself with that person or marrying that person or kissing that person." But how stupid is that!? Most people go on dates to get to know people and realize if they have chemistry or not. But then I feel stupid, like I'm leading someone on by dating them. Like, what if they get attached and like me a lot, and I have to break it to them and tell them I don't feel that way. Well, by that time I had already made them feel as if I did like them.
So what's the limit? How many dates can you go on with a person before they think you are "dating," and not "dating" isn't like breaking up?
And why the hell am I writing this lol. I pretty much drifted from the whole " I hate dating and can never get into a relationship for some unknown reason"...subject.
And why do I still think of him.
With all that pointless waste of everyone's time, I think I should go write my one page play for that class.... maybe I should just make it a monologue and turn this piece of crap in hahaha.